Strong Women

I'm not usually a Beyonce fan but this is some serious girl power here. So to my fellow strong woman (you know who you are), this is for you!



P.S. I know I said I wouldn't be blogging but this just had to be done.

Christmas Cheer

"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

It's the holiday season, it's supposed to be a time of joy and happiness, not a time where I puke my misery on my friends. So in an effort to keep the joy in your holiday season I am not blogging until 2007.

So in the spirit of spreading Christmas cheer, click on the title of this blog for a little ditty from me to you.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

No! Don't eat that!

In my research to find the perfect diet/perfect way of eating I have come to this conclusion:

THE ONLY WAY TO BE PERFECT IN WHAT YOU EAT IS TO NOT EAT ANYTHING AT ALL.

Seriously, if you read all the diet books I read, you will find that they all cancel each other out. If I were to listen to everything I read, the only thing I would be allowed to eat is raw Kale. Sounds like a good plan to me. Raw kale it is, I better get a good heath insurance plan because something tells me this isn't going to be good.

Ironic?

I started at counting calories and guess where I ended up?

COUNTING CALORIES!

Everything in moderation, otherwise you will go insane trying to eat what is good for you. Counting calories sort of forces things in to moderation. Think about it. It would take a lot of eating just veggies to make it anywhere close to the 1200 calorie mark. On the other hand, it doesn't take much chocolate to get there, now does it? Sort of forces you to go easy on the chocolate and up your veggies. Even better if you pay attention to the quantity of fat, protein, carbs and fiber consumed in a day.

So there it is. I've been around the diet world and back, with stops at Weight Watchers, Veganism, Raw foods, Blood type diet, South Beach (and a few more) and back. Counting calories sounds good to me.

Now I'm off to figure out the world of exercise. How in the hell do I do any weight training with this damn Mummy Tummy?!?

Let's Say Thanks

I can't even imagine what it must be like to be in Iraq for the Holidays. Away from your family and so far from the "joy" that is spread during this season. Let's spread some joy to our soldiers but sending them a Thank You card. Hell, let's flood them with Thank You cards.

I hope you'll take the time to do this and pass this along to everyone you can. They deserve to be acknowledged for what they do, especially this time of year.

Hugs, kisses and many thanks to our soldiers!

Musical plug

Damien Rice, "9 crimes". I just discovered this song and it's amazingly powerful. I love pure music that comes from actual talent and this song is no different. I can't wait to buy the entire CD to see what else he has. You can hear the song on my not quite up and running My Space page. Stop by and add yourself to the "my friends" page while your at it.

How did I get here?

How did I end up in this place? It's like I just woke up from a long nap and I have no idea where I am, who I am or how the hell I got here. Like when your husband dies and suddenly your life changes and you can't figure out what the hell happened or why it happened to you.
Only my husband didn't die, nothing suddenly changed and nothing truly tragic happened. Apparently I did all this, I chose the direction of my life, planned it all out and got myself where I am. Apparently this is what I wanted...
So why the hell can't I figure out how I actually got here?? This isn't where I wanted to be, I never saw myself here. It feels like a blink of an eye and suddenly I'm married with 2 children, drowning in debt and so unhappy the bottom of my pool looks like a nice place to sleep.
I don't recognize this person I have become. Who is she? Why is she so unhappy and why does it feel like the whole world is spinning around me and I can't grab on to anything. I just keep spinning and spinning, getting sicker and sicker as the world keeps going round and round.
I don't know how to get out of this? How do I get my life back on track? How do I take control again and make something out of this horrid situation? Or do I just succumb, go numb and go through the motions of life with my mommy mask on?
Don't get me wrong, I love my children and I did always want children. I just never imagined I would be here, trapped in a horrible marriage with no apparent way out. I just want things to be better, I want my marriage to be better or I want to be better out of my marriage. I want the world to stop spinning and I would like it if my husband would help me stop the spinning rather than make it spin faster.
I know to make the spinning stop I need to move. I need to take a step in one direction or the other, only I'm too terrified to move. I'm scared to death of my decisions, I don't trust myself with my own life anymore. My decisions are what got me here and I just want someone who knows better than me to tell me where to go. Only I know that won't happen, the only person who can stop the spinning is me.

In a funk

And I can't seem to shake it. I just feel foggy, sleepy and have absolutely no energy to work at all. It's going on a week now and I really need to get some work done.

I don't know if it's because I have been out of town a lot so the housework is piling high.

Or maybe because DH refuses to help me with any thing other than taking out the trash and unloading the dishwasher.

It's possibly because our monthly bills equal more than we make right now and it's up to me to come up with the difference.

Maybe because Michael is on antibiotics for impetigo and not only does he have new spots but Kaylee has spots now too. Chicken Pox? Bug bites from the Nanny's house? More impetigo? Which is the better option? Ugh.

Possibly because I spent all weekend attempting to clean house and it actually looks worse now than it it on Friday.

I suppose it could be because my period is late and I need another child like I need a hole in the head.

Or could it be because the running list of broken things around the house is growing larger and DH is doing nothing about it?

All of the above?

Whatever it is, I am seriously considering bringing spiked Egg Nog to work.

10 Things I Hate About You

Dear Southern United States,

In honor of my 9th anniversary of being a transplanted Floridian I thought it was about time to give you a piece of my mind. While there are a great many wonderful things about living in Flori-DUH, there are those I am none too fond of. I will try to keep it to 10 things.

1. Fried chicken. My thighs do not appreciate you! Nuff said.

2. Here in Flori-DUH it seems as though the pickup is a natives car of choice. While I hate trucks and have my own personal theory about the drivers feeling the need to compensate for something, this is not what really bothers me. What bothers me are these. Why some Southern men feel the need to hang their balls from their truck is beyond me. Oh wait, I guess this brings us back to the whole compensating for something theory, doesn't it?

3. Confederate flag. You might as well write "racist" on the back of your truck. Seriously.

4. Gators. They freak me out, but what freaks me out more are the natives who are not afraid to swim with them. *WTF*

5. This one is specific to Flori-DUH, but I hate old, medicated drivers!! I don't give a rats ass if it is age discrimination, when you hit a certain age you should have to re-take the drivers test, period.

6. Tourists. Drunk, obnoxious tourists. The ones who show up at spring break and are wasted from the moment they touch down to the moment they take off. For god sake, if you are going to party that hard (and by all means, do) DO NOT GET IN TO YOUR CAR. Although it may appear differently to you, not all of us are on spring vacation. Some of us have *GASP* children in their car who would like to survive to see their own spring vacation. The next time a convertible full of girls in itsy bitsy binki's almost side swipes me flirting with a convertible full of bleach tipped boys I'm going to get out of my car, take your Smirnoff bottles and shove them...well, anyway. You get it.

7. For the love of god, YES that is Hulk Hogan. Who else do you know looks like that? Yes, he lives here and no, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to sign your bicep.

8. Hoochie Mamas. There is a rule in fashion that says that if you are wearing something tight or revealing on top you should NOT do the same on the bottom and vice versa. Yes, I am aware that it is hot here. Despite that I still fail to see how your breasts hanging out on top and your ass hanging out on bottom keeps you any cooler than something 4 inches longer in either direction.

9. Hurricanes. We here in Flori-DUH get a little tired of boarding up windows, bring in lawn chairs and beating the hoards at the grocery store and gas station and only getting a little rain. It's scary, hard work and frankly it's annoying. Yes, we need to do it but when I heard the criticism of the people who knew Katrina was coming and stayed put I sympathized. You try picking up and moving every couple weeks, it's a bitch!

10. Last but not least...Mickey fucking Mouse! Seriously people, there are other things to do in Flori-DUH besides going to Disney. Swim with the Manatees, visit Kennedy Space Center, take a ghost tour. My dear family, I love you much but if you make me go to Disney with you on your vacation one more time I am going to throw myself in front of the Monorail.

In closing, while there are many things I like about living here the above are the things that need to go. They do not make living here "colorful" or "interesting". Mostly they annoy me or raise our home and auto insurance rates. I'm willing to compromise and let you keep that damn Mouse as long as you start serving liquor in the park.

Sincerely,
Jessica
9 years in Flori-DUH

Confessions of a working mother

I'm going to say it. I'm sure it's going to piss some people off but here goes...

Being a working mom of 2 is EASIER than being a SAHM of 2.

No throwing fruit please! Notice I said, "of 2", this is because being a SAHM of 1 is easier than being a working mom of 1.

I know, now I'm really going to get it. I should be flamed, executed, shot at and banned from all "good mommy" groups available to those who keep the secrets of the Secret Society of Little People Care Takers.

I am not at all saying that this is true for all the moms. Heck, it may only be true for me. (I'm "sure" it is.) The thing is that it is true for me. I'd take a day at the office over staying home with my 2 rugrats any day of the week. I know I sound horrible but it's not because I don't love them, it's because it's just plain harder to care for 2 children. Especially when one is 2 and the other is 9 months old. You are probably saying, "What about all the house work that must be done at night time and on the weekends?" Well, the truth of the matter is that I don't have time to do housework when caring for my 2 at home anyway.

Now one child is totally different. It was easier to stay at home than work when it was just Michael and I. Heck, I left work at 8 months pregnant because despite being out run by my one year old, it was still easier to stay at home.

I know you all hate me now but here's the thing. I never said any of it was EASY. No way, no how is any part of motherhood easy. I'd take being a dad over being a mom any day, except guys don't have the cute shoes we do. ;)

Being a SAHM to 1 is hard work, no doubt about it. It's harder than most men are willing to take on. Motherhood is hard no matter what your situation is. I'm almost sure being a single mom is harder than what I do now. (Hey, I say "almost" because you have not met my husband.)

We all deserve loads of respect that we do not get. I would never in a million years say that my situation is harder than yours because it is your situation and what might seem hard to me may seem easy to you. In fact, I'm sure some of my girlfriends who are moms of 4 and 5 are laughing at me right now. I'm almost certain some of my girlfriends who are moms of 1 are cursing their computer screen wishing they had never read this blog, getting ready to type out some choice words for me.

That's all OK with me. We are all moms, we understand each other better than anyone else. Despite your initial reaction to this blog entry I'm sure you will soon realize is that what I am trying to say is not that what I do is harder than you and therefore I am better; but that life as a mother is a struggle for me. I find it easier to care for my family if someone else cares for my children during the day and as a result I feel like a lesser mother. Thus the need for this blog entry as a confession. I work because I have to but I'm happy I have to work.

Vegas Baby!

A few highlights from my Vegas vacation:

Celine Dion - I was given a ticket, which is nice because otherwise I would not have seen the show. It was AMAZING! It was so incredibly powerful it brought tears to my eyes on numerous occasions. As my friend put it, she is the only singer I have ever heard that sounds just like her albums, live. My theory on this is that she is just THAT talented. In case you are sitting there thinking I have always been a die hard Celine fan, this is not the case. I like her music, I even have a CD or 2 of hers somewhere, but mushy love songs are not usually my thing. That said, I couldn't help but be moved by her performance. Absolutely incredible.

Gambling: OK, I don't gamble but my friend and her BF does. The highlight of all the gambling for me was the free drinks. :) As long as the drinks were flowing I had no problem sitting next to a slot machine while my friend gambled her savings away.
A note on gambling: I do not understand why a good day gambling is one in which you break even. I just do not get this, to me it would be a huge waste of time. I'd rather window shop. JMO

Pure Night Club: If you watch E news (like I do) you probably noticed mention of Nick Lachey at Pure Night Club last Saturday night. He was celebrating his birthday with the Pussycat Dolls. The truth of the matter is that he was hosting Pure Night Club that night. In other words, he was getting paid to celebrate his birthday! Oh to be a celebrity...
Anyway, the reason I am blogging about something so stupid is because earlier that day I met the owner of Pure (and other establishments) on Saturday while drinking at Fat Joes (at 2pm because it's VEGAS baby!). The long and the short of it was that he put me on the list to get in to Pure that night. In the end I didn't end up going because my friend really didn't want to.
Confession: I am relieved she didn't want to go even though I was dying to go. The reason is because she is very overweight and my guess is that she would have been turned away at the door. I would not be able to stand seeing that happen so I am glad she opted to not go. It's sad but true. What's even sadder is that I actually enjoy these materialistic places. *sigh* Little do they know, my overweight friend has perkier breasts than I do, lol.
So I guess the long and the short of it is that I had my .5 seconds of semi-fame by being on "the list" at the hottest night club in Vegas on the hottest night.

So really that's the excitement of my Vegas trip. That and I scored an awesome deal on some BCBG shoes; regularly $169 and I got them for $30!

In case anyone is wondering, I did not do anything I wouldn't want my husband to know about. Though tempted at times I'm just not that girl.

The disappearing entry

If you thought you saw a blog entry from me about a week ago that disappeared you are not mistaken. I vented and then thought better of it. :)

Just wanted you to know you are not loosing your mind.

Grey's Anatomy

I love this show, love, love, love it. Every Thursday night I lay in bed and watch it BY MYSELF. I would love a group of girls to watch it with so we could gab about how dreamy McDreamy is and how steamy McAsshole is but alas I don't have this so I'm going to gab about it here. Partly because I'm bored but mostly I am so overwhelmed with work and family life that I am seriously lacking some girlfriends to gab with so here goes:

Mer/Der: It's getting old. Every single TV show does this to us, it goes back and forth until sometime in the last season, usually the last episodes, they finally get together. Unfortunately it's usually anti-climatic because by the time the show is on it's last leg it just feels like an after thought. (Hello?! Can we say Ross and Rachel?) Please just get them together, it would be so much more interesting.

Burktina: I wasn't fond of this story line until last night. In fact, I wasn't fond of Christina until last night. Can't wait to see where it goes.

Bailey: I love her and I truly feel for her right now. I love that she is a mom and that it softened her, I love that the writers are "going there" with the doubts from the other surgeons regarding her competence. I especially love that she fights it tooth and nail the entire time.

George/Callie: George needs to get a life, if he isn't willing to be committed then he needs to quit stringing her along. Callie rocks, period.

Izzy: I like Izzy but I can't believe that she would expect to be able to treat patients after what happened with Denny. Also, cash the check already!

I loved that Derek's sister showed up and still don't understand the whole dynamic between Mark, Addison and Derek. Ah well, I'm sure it will unfold.

Why I Wore Lipstick To My Mastectomy

I'm not usually moved by movies on Lifetime but I thought this one was really good. Not sappy, just good. It was enlightening and frightening at the same time and for once I understood what it would be like to be "emasculated" as a woman. If you happen to be channel surfing and come across this movie I highly recommend it. Sarah Chalke provided a wonderful, Emmy worthy performance. If anything, you will come away with a better understanding of Breast Cancer and possibly more compassion for the cause.

Out of the mouths of babes

On our way home from Trick-or-Treating last night we hit one of those yellow lights that is too yellow to run but you have to break hard to stop. I was not wearing my seat belt (I know, shame on me) and I had to grab the handle on the door and brace myself of the roof of the car to keep from hitting the dash board. While stopping myself from exiting the car via the windshield we hear Michael (my 2 year old) from the back seat yell, "Jesus!"

There was no blaming this one on my husband. Michael learned this from me. It is what I say when my psycho driver husband pulls his "nearly get us killed" driver moves. (Ok, so maybe I can blame it on Aric a little.) Never the less, I have taught my son a word he shouldn't know in that way right now. While that word is not offensive to us, he doesn't need to use words that are offensive to others. *sigh*

What's worse is my husband and I laughed when he said it. I can't help it, I thought it was pretty freaking funny to hear him say it on his own especially in response to my husbands driving. :)

Happy Halloween!

There is something so wonderful about a day in which you can be anyone you want to be. Today I am a Saloon Girl and my husband is an Old West Cowboy. The beauty in this can be summed up in one exchange made by my husband and I this morning. I had just poured myself a cup of coffee:

Me: Your mug (empty) is next to the coffee pot when you are ready.

Him: You aren't going to pour me a cup? You poured yourself one.

Me: No, it's not done brewing yet, I figured you could do it when you were ready.

Him: (Joking) Aren't Wenches supposed to take care of their cowboy? You should bring me my coffee today.

Me: Ah yes, but I have more than one cowboy to tend to. ;)

Him: (Dumbfounded) Hey, that's not nice.

Gotta love roll play!

In the spirit of Halloween...

I just bought these 9 West beauties for my Halloween Costume. They were originally $159 and I got them for $54 shipped. Gotta love Ebay! I can wear them under jeans on a daily basis too. I just love fall. :)



My costume is home made but inspired by this one. Fun!



While I was at it, I got these. I think they will be adorable peeking out under some dark wash jeans. :) I'm such a shoe whore!

I'm cheating on my husband

Or so I am in my dreams anyway...

Recently I have been having these wonderful, vivid dreams of the "perfect men" who treat me with loads of respect, are seriously rich, good looking and head over heals for me.

Wonderful right? Except here's the catch, we never actually get to the "good stuff" because I REFUSE TO TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES! Can we say MAJOR body image issues here?!?

Every single dream has ended with a conversation about a tummy tuck and boob job and me waking in frustration.

Why oh why can't I just get some good sex?!? This really just isn't fair, if I can't get good sex in real life (due to a struggling marriage and pain that started after K was born and hasn't gone away yet) why can't I at least have some good sex in my dreams?

I deserve a body that functions properly sexually but if I can't get that then at least let me have some damn good dreams!

Food for thought

At what point do you give up on any given course? I've come to the temporary conclusion that there is no set answer to this. You have to weigh the concequesnces with the pain and trouble the course is causing you, of course, that's a given but how do you know when the pain is no longer worth it?

For most things I have come to learn that if you can push past that point where you are certain you must give up because it's just too hard, you will succeed. If you can just get past that crucial point, past that ultimate test. It's like you have proven you are tougher than whatever life has thrown your way and you win.

What happens when you have pushed, and fought and spent WAY too long sitting in the middle of that point where the obstacles seem insurmountable? Do you keep going? Do you give up and admit defeat? Once you give up there is no going back, are you ready for that? Are you prepared to take another path entirely?

What if you are being a wimp? I constantly think that others must endure much more pain than I do so what I am complaining about? What if I am submitting myself to much more pain than is normal? How do you know and compare these things? When does it turn from bravery to stupidity?

I'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking about work, dreams, life goals, weight loss, etc. Whatever it is, is doesn't matter. The point is when do you move on?

Or are you the type of person who just rolls with it and takes any obstacle as a sign to take up another course of action? You can probably tell by now that I am not this type of person. I can't help but wonder that if I were would I be more sane or maybe more insane because I couldn't just pick and path and stick with it.

Just food for thought I guess...

Awaiting my fate

As I type this my husband is flying over head in a helicopter. He has been talking about doing helicopter pilot training for a while now so I figured what better birthday present then to send him up for an hour and let him test it out. He will either hate it and never mention it again or he will love it and we will have to figure out how to finance the training.

Either way I really don't mind. He is one of these "I have no idea what I want to do with my life" guys so if it figures it out yay for me! The difference between an unmotivated husband and a motivated one are night and day.

My only fear is that he will opt for a more dangerous career path. Coast Guard vrs tour guide, Fire Fighter vrs taxi service, you get the idea. It's selfish of me but I'd really rather not lose him early if I can help it.

Waiting, waiting, waiting to see which way it's going to go...

"The Boss' Daughter"

So uh yeah, I'm THAT girl. I try not to be THAT girl but I am.

I work for my parents, I do it because I don't officially have my high school diploma. I was home schooled and while I could pass the GED test with flying colors the thought of spending an entire day at the local high school testing with a bunch of drop outs with blue hair frightens me.

The thing about being THAT girl is that people think you are better off than you really are. For some reason people seem to think that this job comes with more perks than it really does. I'll tell you right now that being the boss' daughter means no overtime pay, ever. It also means that since everyone thinks I have special perks that I don't really have my parents (yes, I work for both of them) think that they must prove that there are no special perks to being the boss's daughter. You think I can waltz in late with out anyone noticing? Um, no, I get the same reports to personnel that the rest of you do and I have to hear about it after hours. You think I get paid more? Most often I get paid LESS because they can and they know I'm not going anywhere.

Another wonderful "perk" that this job comes with is other people trying to get rid of you. For some reason there are certain people who think that in order to move up in the company they must get rid of me, like I have a magic wand that I wave when I want something done. So unless they get rid of me and my wand they could be fired at any moment and they just are not safe until I am gone. I have been under attacks that would make anyone cry, I have had things made up about me and the demise of the ENTIRE COMPANY pinned on me. And what's more is MY MOM BELIEVED IT!!! Yep, not only was I going to be fired by my own mother but I was going to be fired by my own mother while I was on maternity leave. Fortunately I am smarter than people give me credit for and I have waved goodbye to many "overtakers".

Sure it does come with some valid perks. I am able to speak my mind to the "boss" when ever I like. I am a daddy's girl and my dad does run the company. I could, if I really wanted to, milk the system.

The thing is that I don't. I don't want to be THAT girl, I show up on time, I do my cleaning station, and I work as hard, if not harder than anyone else here. Because when all is said and done, I have been here longer than anyone else. I have most of my life and livingness invested in this company. I was answering the reception phone and making info packs for .50 cents a piece at NINE YEARS OLD for fuck sake.

When my mother figures out the obnoxious woman who thinks she should be the one running the company needs to go, I will still be here. When there is painting to do on the weekends and when the alarm goes off at midnight and someone has to be at the office to meet the cops, I will be here. When my parents decide it's time to pass the company on, I will be here.

Is it worth it? Probably not. I have had to fire friends, work weekends for free and have been accused of horrible things many, many times. There is a secret to all of this, there is a reason for my "perks" and a reason I stay. I AM DAMN GOOD AT WHAT I DO. Yup, that's the secret. That's how I bought a house and a car at 20 years old. I am in sales (the most difficult field to be in, if you ask me) and because of that I have the ability to make bank. Not because I am the Boss' daughter, nope, that gets me little more than a day of here or there that the average employee might not get. My perks come from the fact that I am damn good at getting peoples money, I can say, "The total is going to be $30,455. What credit card would you like to put that on?" with out batting an eye. I don't have to talk people in to buying, I know the questions to ask to get them to talk themselves in to buying. With out this I would make enough to afford a one-bedroom apartment.

The point of this is not sympathy. No, I don't need or want sympathy. I am proud of what I have because I have earned it. The point of this is next time to see someone who appears to have everything handed to them on a silver platter, look a little closer, maybe they actually worked for everything they have.

Oh and just because I'm 23, work for my parents and have an obsession for shoes and shopping doesn't mean I am stupid. Remember that the next time you try and get rid of me. I will be here far longer than you so you are much better off pretending to be my friend than wasting effort trying to undermine me.

You underestimate me

You may think I'm not that bright, or that I need a new plan, but let me assure you this is not the case.

See, there are different situations a woman can be in when it comes to relationships. There are relationships that were never good from the start, they were damaging to both people from day one. For whatever reason neither party did a damn thing about it, and even if you didn't see it from day one you eventually did and still continued to ignore it.

Then there are those relationships that GO bad, they are not "born" bad but they turn bad. Something changes at your at each other throats, you do things you wouldn't want the other person to know about and you do things which are harmful to your partner. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A ONE SIDED THING. Yes, that's right, I said it. Your husband cheated on you? Fine, he did it and it was wrong but what have YOU done to him? It's called Karma, my friend, and I'm a true believer.

I believe that relationships that GO bad can be fixed. It may not be easy, it may not be fun and it may be downright painful. I believe that the person walks away from this, the good relationship gone bad, is the coward and the stupid one. The one who needs a new plan.

If you can take an honest look at your relationship and, setting aside all hate and resentment, tell yourself that it WAS something good then you owe it to yourself to at least try to make it better.

After all, these are the moments that shape us. These are the life decisions that make us who we are. Are you going to run away just because things got a little tough? Or are you going to tackle it head on and give it everything you have, because damnit, you deserve happiness too!

I, for one, will not lay down and die. I will keep fighting for what I once had and what I could have. I am not a coward and I HAVE a plan. I will no longer contribute to the demise of my marriage, rather, I will help build it up and make it the wonderful union it once was.

If in the end I lose the battle, then so be it. At least I can say I fought, for myself and for my children, and am a better person because of it.

Jealousy

I know that jealousy is not healthy but I would like to believe that women are inherently jealous. I know I am, I just can't help it. It's like a certain part of me wants me to be better than everyone else, even though I know it's not possible.

How can you not feel that twinge of jealousy when an acquaintance walks in, 2 weeks postpartum, bragging about how she is back in her prepreg jeans? Meanwhile here I sit, 8 months postpartum, back to prepreg weight and they still don't fit!

What about when your younger, less responsible friend rolls up in a brand new BMW? I work harder, am more responsible and have accomplished more in my life and I'm stuck in a '99 Camry. She doesn't drive a BMW because she did anything worth mentioning, other than win the guy lottery. Do I care that he is probably cheating on her and my husband is even more faithful than I can comfortably stand? No, I want a f-ing BMW!

I'm jealous of happy marriages too. Not because mine is horrible, it's not even that it isn't happy. I'm just jealous, irrationally jealous.

I suppose it normal, or at least normal for me. I can deal with it, I'm not crazy about it. I just can't seem to get it through my thick head that the f-ing grass is greener on the other f-ing side!

If I start blogging about being jealous of Skank-is Hilton's boyfriend of the week or trying to be as thin as Nicole "I'm not anorexic" Ritchie then slap me. Otherwise I suppose you and I will just have to deal with it.

The In laws and Taco Hell

In the madness of moving, getting our house rented out, working full time and maintaining my 8 month old, Kaylee, and 2 year old, Michael, we have at times been forced to eat at Taco Hell for dinner. My hubby is the Taco Hell fetcher, I think because he likes to call his brother in CA from his headset while he is in the car. (Another blog on men and electronics later.) The conversation went something like this:

TH: Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?

DH: Yeah, I'll get a #3 and a Mexican Pizza with no beef.

BIL: WHAT?!?! Who goes to Taco bell and asks for no beef? That HAS to be Jessica.

DH: Yup. I'll also get a been burrito with NO onions and add sour cream.

BIL: Let me guess, that's Jess too.

DH: Yup.

BIL: Doesn't that drive you nuts?

DH: You mean that she alters everything on the menu? It used to but not anymore.

BIL: She is high maintenance, isn't she?

Apparently even the way I order fast food makes me HM. What I want to know is who in their right mind eats beef from TH and LIKES it?!? It seems to me the same thing could be accomplished in your own kitchen by adding some water to dog food, blending it and heating it up.

So you think I'm a High Maintenance Bitch?

So this is my blog, my real blog. Not the blog I send to my family that has cute stories of the kids doing cute (or not so cute) things. Don't get me wrong, I love that blog but I need a place where I can be the High Maintenance Bitch I am and not frighten my family. (Actually, I'm pretty sure they are already frightened but why make it worse?)

The rest of my fellow HMBs out there know that a High Maintenance Bitch is quite different from just a normal Bitch. A normal Bitch is just that, a Bitch. But a HMB is, well... I suppose you will find out as I blog.

So gather 'round my fellow Bitches! Let the blogging begin!