Ramblings about men...if you make it through this you have my respect :)

I'd sure like to know why it is that men don't seem to realize when they have a good thing. It's like past in initial pursuit, once they've "caught" you, they become uninterested. It's frustrating! 

I'd like to think I know a good thing when I see it. When my ex would do something nice it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Maybe because he so rarely did it but regardless, I noticed and appreciated it! 

Currently I am on and off with the most amazing man I could ask for. He is really, really great and it's been really, really great for the last 6 months. In fact it just keeps getting better and better. Thing is, he only seems to notice this when he thinks he's gonna lose me. As soon as we are "in it" and I've been "caught" he starts to focus on the responsibility of dating a woman with kids and really freaks out. Don't get me wrong, he loves and is great with my kids. It's not my KIDS, it's his assumed idea of the responsibility involved. I do get that a single mother with 2 kids is a LOT, it's a lot of "baggage" to be walking around with, I get that. I really do. I'm OK with it taking time to get used to the idea and I don't actually NEED anything from a man right now. My ex pays child support and is involved in my kids lives and aside from wishing now and then that I had a stronger hand around to help with the groceries, I've got it covered. 

I'm rambling but I guess the gist of it is that I hate feeling like I have to always be one foot out the door just so he doesn't lose sight of this really great thing that he has. I felt like this with my ex too. I just don't get why it is this way with men! 

I appreciate my man. I realize that he is just about anything a woman could ask for in a man, really. He is helpful, respectful, makes me feel absolutely amazing and good looking and talented to boot. He isn't perfect, obviously, or I wouldn't be sitting here blogging about how frustrated I am right now. But he is great, really great. What he and I have is great and it really does just keep getting better. He knows this, I know this but somehow the whole thing just seems just out of my grasp. 

For the record, it's not that I don't think I can get a better man or that he is so great that I don't deserve him. That's not it at all. I know what I have to offer and I know that HE is lucky to have me too. It's just that I'm crazy about him and I don't want anyone else. I want him. I know he feels this way too but the poor thing gets so scared, lol. Kind of endearing I guess, at least he knows what he is getting in to in dating a single mom. It just scares him. I also think it scares him because he knows that what he and I have is real and that while we won't be marching down the isle any time soon (No thank you very much!) I think he also feels like this is it. We are perfect together, we really are... and it scares the shit out of him. Hell, it scares the shit out of me too!