Still Standing

Do you ever go back and read your earlier blog entries and think, "wow, I can't believe I was in that place"? I just did and not only was it a harsh reminder of how miserable I was, it was an awakening to how happy I am now.

I know my recent entries are romantically sappy and some of you are probably rolling your eyes thinking, "Silly girl, won't she ever learn?" Believe me, I've thought those same things recently, more times than I can count. The thing is that this time it's different. I am not a hopeless romantic, in fact, I'm quite the opposite. I have fought and fought this, I have tried so hard to find everything wrong with it that I could.... but I. just. can't. find. anything! It's so amazingly perfect that I wonder what the hell did I do to deserve this?

If you could possibly imagine your perfect person, a person who complements you in every way, someone who literally completes you... well that's what I've found. And while I am trying with everything I have to move incredibly slow so I don't make the same mistakes, I have a wonderful feeling that I should just let go and trust. Which, if you consider that I am coming out of a horrific (H-O-R-R-I-F-I-C) marriage, the fact that I could even consider trusting is pretty damn amazing.

Anywhoo... M is going to be 3 in about a month. Where the hell did the time go!?! I have to say that this is not my favorite age. Don't get me wrong, I love that I can have whole conversations with him and that he tells me he loves me and "Mommy, you beautiful!" However, I am soooo ready to be done with the terrible twos... And yes, I do know that they don't end when he turns 3. I figure I have at least a good year and a half before it really gets better. At which point K will be smack dab in the middle of the tantrum throwing, "No!" screaming, shin kicking two's. Sigh... Why the hell am I thinking about having more?!! :)

M turning 3 means K is a year and half. She is running around and babbling in a way that is so cute it makes my heart melt. Even better is she has won over my "dirty little secrets" heart. He is so in love with her and she loves him too. She gets jealous if I hug him and demands a hug of her own. Sigh... He loves my kids... Who knew such wonderful things could happen to me?

Lane - I promise, once my divorce is final I will give you all the details you can handle. :)