I'm leaving. Moving back to MY house with my children, filing for divorce and moving on.
(Disclaimer: Of course there is always the chance that STBXH (soon-to-be-Ex-husband) will do a 180 and honestly get his shit together but I am not counting on it or waiting for it and I will not be manipulated with "good behaviour" again.)
It feels good and scary at the same time. I actually kicked STBXH out of our current house a week ago and have been waiting for a couple things to be repaired at my house before I could move. M is having a hard time and keeps asking where Daddy is. K could really care less and is just as cheerful and cute as ever. M and STBXH were not that close, I think mainly he is concerned that I have been a bit of a wreck. M has been sleeping in my bed and 2 nights ago actually slept on me.
So despite the fact that I have been almost solely existing on Ben and Jerry's and Blizzards, I am doing quite well. As I suspected, living without my pain-in-the-ass husband around is actually easier and less work. (Do you all get it now? Being a single mom of 2 children under 3 is easier than being with my husband! Do you get how much of a childish ass he was/is?) Being a single mom shouldn't be easier. Yet it is, except for being the only one to get up in the night with the kids. Although this should settle down soon and they will once again return to being good sleepers.
So there it is. Like I said, it feels good but scary. The hardest part is being alone again, no one to talk to and share things with. No one to say good morning and good night to, or "what should we do for dinner?" Not that I want him around again but it would sure be nice to finally find someone who can really be my partner in life...
Until then I'm going to enjoy the freedom of being single. No one to harass me about sex, or hump me from behind while I'm unloading the dishwasher. One person less laundry and one person less to argue with. Today is a good day. :)
3 comments:
Wow Jessica - I had no idea things were getting bad again. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything you need, please ask, ok? We are all here for you. (((HUGS)))
I am glad you have come to terms with things - one way or the other. It has to be a good feeling to know you are moving ahead with your life. We are here for you. XOXO
I'm sooo behind on blog reading, but am happy for you. (Yay for no more freaky dry humps...lol) I hope this works out. You're a strong woman. :)
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